Dear over-privileged, sheltered, easy-living people of the Internet, I have a bone to pick. Now, I am fully aware that writing on the following  puts me in a compromising position… oh, who am I kidding, I don’t give a damn what this makes me sound like. It’s a truth, and a perspective based on observations, I’ll try to be as offensive… err, rather, as objective as possible.

Ribbons for a Cause

There are some levels of good that come from commerce, and it’s a well-known fact that without the private sector, a vast majority of successful nonprofit organizations wouldn’t work. I get that. Also supporting beliefs is a valuable sociological construct to ensure those systems don’t get left behind in our minds as we all go about our day-to-day operations in life.

That said, colored ribbons don’t do a damn thing. The color pink doesn’t cure breast cancer, doesn’t make people more aware that it exists, and won’t cure it. In fact, the only thing colored ribbons actually provide is a nice passive way for someone to pretend they supported “something” with their petty $5 purchase. It also allows everyone else in their gated community to know they give a shit about something other than themselves, just as long as it’s doing something simple like spending $5 once on a car magnet.

Solution: Here’s a simple template anyone can follow online, right now, to make an impacting difference:

“[Insert Concern Here] [Insert Type of Donation Here] Donation” – example: Breast Cancer Online Donation

This goes for not only magnetic ribbons slapped on the back of SUV’s that “support the environment”, but also for silk ribbons around trees in front yards to support [insert cause here], graphics of ribbons on oversized t-shirts… Heck, all ribbons. Ribbons are these passive, braggart, do-nothing, save-nothing podiums empty people can leverage to pimp some cause they want to boast about supporting.

Want troops to come home? Write Congress, constantly. Want to show support for veterans? Go to the Veterans Administration and ask about volunteering. Want to help cure cancer, but failed biology? Find a nice organization to donate something to. It’s a hell of a lot harder than walking out to the driveway and placing an impulse purchase on the trunk of another impulse purchase, but it makes an actual impact if done.

Profile Pictures on some Dot Com

So, let me get this straight. People sit around, reading Twitter, they see something disturbing, upsetting, or whatever in their feed, and they change their avatar to “raise awareness” and “show their support” to the countless masses of people who obviously pay attention to everything they do and say online. Never getting up, not once putting actual effort into whatever it is being supported or fought for.

Leaning on the defacto “raise awareness” and “show support for” is empty when executed in a 32×32 pixel profile photo that only brags to people online the same way those useless colored ribbons brag. They don’t cure anything, they don’t help anything, they don’t actually do anything.

For those that want to share information about something, actually do something consistently and persistently that requires energy and effort. Write a blog post, spread it around. Post a YouTube video explaining stuff, repost someone else’s YouTube video and promote the post. Organize a rally, find a way to raise donations for something… and again, volunteer. Slapping a passive photo or ribbon on to some stationary device and leaving it there for weeks or months on end shows an extremely shallow care for that thing – especially if that’s the extent of  ”support” for the cause.

Live Below the Line

The latest thing this week, in over-privileged assholes invoking “feel good braggart campaigning” is, this livebelowtheline.com business. Raising awareness that being poor sucks – genius. I want to take a moment and thank all those people who have to pretend to be poor to feel they give a shit about the poor, that shows compassion. I mean, it’s nice, right? Suffering along with the peasants for a few days, just to experience the adventures of poverty! Good for you! Share your experiences with everyone on Facebook while making that “difference”. Slow. Clap.

Just what we need, fake poor people, privileged-explainers who are going to become vastly experienced in the art of “Government Cheese” EBT programs for a whopping five days as if their actions are “taking a stand” against minimum wage. Perhaps this type of thing will work in Canada, the UK, or Australia – I’m not fully versed on the political systems there — but I can speak for the United States, and say this; write politicians, vote, write politicians, vote, and write politicians.

From suburban-utopia-mongers to over-paid whoevers; if, for a millisecond, anyone actually believes this type of absolutely fake activism is going to solve any problem, I beg, “Please stop the ‘livehighonmeth.com’ war on drugs campaign”. It’s pathetic, and it achieves absolutely nothing outside of “raising awareness” for a problem to an audience who either doesn’t give a shit – or already knows… Being poor sucks, minimum wage is too damn low. Good for those trying to pretend to be poor, congratulations of unlocking whatever life-badge there is for being a degrading asshole fake activist.

This is like the new “sign my petition”; only worse – it has just enough action in it to feel like something can come of it, but in the end – it does nothing to get people elected to help change the problem, it does nothing to get the public’s concerns to the floor of the House. It will, however, make for a good timeline status update to brag feel-good hearts out to the Dot Coms.

The only thing this will achieve is lightening up the number of people I’ll be subscribed to online.

Sitting here, at a cafe in San Diego, California. It’s Sunday, it’s about 70F, in the “dead of winter”. People are walking about with their phones, their dogs, their families… it’s a great Sunday. But an underlying observation is sitting on today, as it does everyday, and even more so, compounding as each day progresses.

An elderly chap solves a crossword puzzle. A couple of friends share gossip over tea. A guy sits by himself in the corner with his iPhone, another, on his Mac Book playing WoW. A brother and sister sit at a table, faces glues to phones, and slowly I see it. The only people really enjoying today, in the present, are the people who old enough to really remember what life was like before the world got small enough to fit in the palm of their hand. Now, this isn’t to say that the people glued to their devices aren’t enjoying the day, it does however pose a more interesting situation, and is actually a basis for a series of philosophical arrangements stemming from the access to vast quantities of social input, shortening life-moments to blips in a timeline, and of course how that affects society in general.

The Problem of Choice

It’s a fact, too many choices leads to decision anxiety, and it alters the decision making process as a result. After a time, being presented with far too many options, and in turn having access to too many decisions, this will end up in decision overload. Throwing in the towel on making decisions to find the “path of lease resistance” is the next logical step, and happens very frequently. As a result, with access to too many options and too many decisions, people fail to work for what they earn, and fail at harnessing valuable, rich, deep results of their actions.

I’ve done this, I’ve seen others do it, and I’ve been on the shit end of the stick with this. People don’t know what it means to really dig in deep, find it in themselves the desire to build something based on risk, hard work, and energy. Instead, they only consider what’s happening today, the easiest ingredients and pieces to enrich their life, and then just run with whatever it takes to provide gratification as fast and cheap as humanly possible.

This is why the baby-boomers think they’re the greatest generation, and they’re probably right. Post World War II, it took a whole hell of a lot of work to rebuild the foundations of America, and thanks to the war, our nation had the resources and drive to do it. Now, rumor mills and gossip are the only adversaries we truly have, and we’re fighting against a current moving too fast to build a dam against them. Nothing really sits long enough to encourage substance, building only really occurs in the shallows. On the rare occasion that someone in our generation does build something meaningful, they stick out like a sore thumb and are considered a powerhouse, and are perceived as indestructible — mainly because the rest of us are so ill-equipped with our lack of insight as to how to build a mote and castle we have no clue how to lay siege.

We are Generation Fucked and it’s only going get worse thanks to the powers of over-parenting, over-sharing, and increased access to more information, more options, and more decisions. To feel as though we’ve built something and contribute to society – we use status updates as some kind of caulk, and the only things we actually build are Hallmark inspirations over pretty pictures in a timeline, a stream of text messages built up like a straw foundation for the building blocks of relationships, and our resolve is only as deep as our closeness to “Inbox Zero”.

Immature, Shallow, Sad – That’s Us

There’s a reason our generation is perpetually trapped in a state of 2001. This mentality that strikes the idea of working at a job for 20 years, building a retirement, building a family, buying a home as a home as opposed to a scheme; all of it stems from the path of least resistance. Why work hard and invest hard for things that would truly matter if there are options that seem simpler and easier just around the corner? The pay off will be the same, and the work required will be less… so fuck it. Why take a gamble, why bother to grow, why try to learn – when there’s access to tools, information, people, and resources just a few thumb taps away. There’s no need to look up from the screen, if everything that’s required to live can fit on a 15″ display.

Our breeding stock is tainted with far too many options, filters, road blocks, entitlements, and is riddled with selfishness. This is a sociological pandemic and it’s going to keep us from becoming truly happy, truly mature, and it will keep us vapid. Very few of us stick with something longer than 2 to 5 years, very few of us actually build something great for ourselves, or for others. The result of not building anything that takes work, that takes calculated action, that takes risk: we’re selfish; we’re shallow; we’re immature; we’re not making it any better. Not only do we not care to, we encourage our behavior with quips, “40 is the new 20″, as if this is some kind of compliment.

It’s bad enough that “starting a family” into the late 30′s is commonplace and somehow we don’t give a fuck the dangers that poses. I know only a small percentage of people who actually have a 401K, IRA, CD’s or anything to plan for the time they’re no longer young enough to be a contributor of society. It’ll all work out, at some point, right?

Strike it rich, win the lottery, invent that thing that makes millions, get funded, flip a house, sell blow jobs in the park for nickels, ask for a government hand-out, become famous, get discovered, mooch of people who planned better, look for an angle, look for an answer, just as long as it’s the easiest answer from the path of least resistance.

Don’t work hard, post about working hard on Facebook. Harness inspiration from sound-bite wit on cat photos. Stay connected always, just in case an option to win easy presents itself. Find that angle, find it. Fall in love without working for it, get rich without trying, and by all means stay calm and carry on. Someone is bound to come around to hand the world over on a silver platter. After all, we’re all entitled to at least that.

As a long time user of Synergy for keyboard/mouse sharing between my desktop and laptop on a daily basis, I figured there had to be something at this point for Android Tablets, and there is.

Preface: This post if for people without Root access on their devices, and who have never enabled “USB Debugging”. The screenshots are from Windows 7, and a Google Nexus 7 tablet. These instructions should work on Windows XP, Windows 7, and Windows 8 – under user accounts with the permissions to install software. Some of the Android Tablet steps are specific to the latest version of Android, version 4.2. For those needing USB Debugging enabled on older Android devices, watch this quick video – then skip ahead to the end of this post.

Preparation

Now, before running off to install an app and expecting it to magically fire up keyboard/mouse sharing between computer and tablet, there are a few things needed to ensure desktops/laptops are ready to share their devices with tablets:

1. Java – download and install from here: http://www.java.com/en/download/index.jsp
2. Google Android Developer SDK – download from here: http://developer.android.com/sdk/index.html

For the Google Android Developer SDK, after downloaded, move or copy the contents of the “zip” folder (by double clicking it – and dragging it) to My Documents or somewhere other than Desktop, I put it in My Computer » C:

Once the files are unpacked from the zip file, open the folder, and click on “SDK Manager”, this will open the following window:

Scroll down and click on “Google USB Driver”, then click “Install packages…”. Follow the prompts. When done, the Android SDK Manager will simply display “Done loading packages” in the bottom left-corner of the application window.

Note: If the Android SDK Manager does not open – make sure Java is properly installed; if it is – try to a computer reboot and try to open SDK Manager again after start up.

Getting Into the Guts

Close the Android SDK Manager, and right click “My Computer” and select “Manage”.

At this point, plug a USB cable from tablet to computer (laptop or desktop)

1. Right click “Nexus 7″ (or tablet name) – it should appear under “Other devices”, initially.
2. Note: If it does not appear, the USB cable might not be the proper type. Oddly enough, not all micro-USB cables are equal. Fish around for another if needed and try different USB ports if all else fails.
3. In the right-click menu, select “Update Driver Software“

Selecting Browse will prompt for either a file path, or allow for browsing via Windows Explorer for the location of the Android SDK file unzipped previously.

Since I placed my SDK files from the above “Android SDK” zip file downloaded into My Computer » C: — the folder where the USB Driver (the files that will allow my computer to talk to my tablet via a USB cable) is “C:\adt-bundle-windows-x86_64\sdk\extras\google\usb_driver”; where “sdk”, “extras”, “google” and “usb_driver” are folders beneath “adt-bundle-windows-x86_64″.

Note: The file path will be different for 32-bit systems, ending in x86_32 or something like that. It will also be different for those placing the zip contents into “My Documents”

On To The Tablet

First thing’s first, tablets running Android Jelly Bean (aka Android 4, aka the newest version of Android), Enable USB Debug Mode is a little weird to find. To do this, “Developer Mode” must be enabled. It’s not obvious where to turn this on, so here are some screenshots:

From “Settings”

1. Scroll to the bottom of the “Settings” menu
2. Select “About tablet”
3. Scroll to the bottom of the “About” information to “Build number”.
4. Tap “Build number” seven (7) times

Viola! Developer mode is enabled.

Backing out of the “About tablet” screen will reveal the new menu “Developer options”

From “Developer options”

1. Scroll down a bit
2. Select only USB Debugging / Debug mode when USB is connected
3. Note: I have yet to see a reason to disable USB Debugging mode once it’s enabled, and usually just leave it on. Following this bit of steps will allow for disabling and enabling of this option at will though.

Now, Install the Stuff and Play

1. Go here and install the desktop client software that allows computer to tablet communication (aka: “Server software”) – http://goo.gl/Gmece (direct link)
2. Go here and install the Android App that allows tablet to computer communication (aka: “Client software”) – http://goo.gl/DgK35 (Google Play link)

1. Open “ShareKM” from the tablet
2. Open “ShareKM (USB)” from Windows

If the USB connection is solid, which it should be having gotten this far, ShareKM (USB) will simply open and auto-connect, hiding itself in the taskbar, and icons for ShareKM should be in the Notification bar on the tablet.

Usage

Using ShareKM is as simple as pushing your mouse pointer to the far left of your computer monitor, and you should then see a mouse pointer appear on the screen of your tablet. Keyboard input and mouse usage takes a little getting used to, but is pretty simple for the most part. Now, there are options for Bluetooth and Wi-Fi enabled sharing of keyboard/mouse devices to your tablet, I did not go into these because both of those solutions require Root access on your device. If you have root, then most of this post is completely useless, outside of “Now, Install the Stuff and Play”.

Limited Edition of 5
Signed, Numbered
Canvas – 30″ x 20″
Available until: January 31st, 2013
$475.00USD (incl. tax & shipping)

Printed to Ship (International Shipping Extra)

Limited Edition of 5
Signed, Numbered
Canvas – 30″ x 20″
Available until: January 31st, 2013
$475.00USD (incl. tax & shipping)

Printed to Ship (International Shipping Extra)

Honestly, this is what they think.

Before I get into the crazy, I want to point out that I realize a good number of right-side voters have a different agenda when they’re at the polls. The only two reasons intelligent, respectable people would vote Republican in this day and age that I’ve been able to find:

Military

Every time there’s a Republican President elected, the Military gets a raise. It’s only natural that people associated with, or actively in, the military would want a raise… this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone with a CAC, but you know – I get it.

The $250k+ Club

The only people that really benefit from tax breaks, and I mean significantly benefit, are the better-than- well-off folks. When your income is largely contributed to from little things like “capital gains”; tax shelters, tax breaks, write-offs, etc. can end up saving you millions. This past election was especially ripe with this subject, and Obama’s not shy about telling the rich-folk how he’s going to screw them out of their earnings.

Now, on to the Fucking-Crazy

Watch this video… watch it. (TRT: 3min 11sec)

Here’s the message Fox is peddling, as well as a number of other whack-job Republican media outlets, and the massive idiot-section of the GOP voting pool:
Conversion of Democrats; not by finding a middle ground, but by flat out convincing those of us thinkers living in modern times, to throw back 50 years to the days of pre-Reagan 80’s and go all in with a mid-60’s level of Conservative values.

Coulter, amazing that people still broadcast this dame’s rubbish, “If Mitt cannot win in this economy, then it’s over. We have more takers than makers.” Hilarious. Last time I checked, nearly every single “maker” I know isn’t stupid enough to roll with Romney, why? In two words: Civil Rights.

According to Fox, the only reason women & Latinos went with Obama, was because Romney had a hard time selling the bullshit that fills the GOP sack of values. Really?! After everything I dug through around the claims that the Republican Party was waging war on women, I was left holding a stack of facts that the GOP was, and is, clueless when it comes to women, and even worse at pretending to understand “minorities”.

The Great American Sexists

First the tie in with Christian values and the Republican Party is so thick; it’s obvious that contraception is from “the Devil”. Second, if a woman needs care, she should get a job, because there’s no way in hell places like Planned Parenthood and government aided health care clinics should be available for our citizens. Third, if you happen to be between jobs, and you happen to be sexually active, and you happen to not be married, and you happen to get knocked up… well, go fuck yourself. You should have gotten a job, or even better, gotten a husband to tend to, prior to getting pregnant, because in Republican-land you’re on your own.

Sounds great! Somehow, the Republicans think that women of the US are so daft, all they needed was the right sales guy to pitch this crap in a way that would have them flocking to accepting aprons and crock-pots as their tokens of patriotism.

The Great American Racists

I think O’Reily said it best, (paraphrase), “well, my rich white guy brethren are no longer the majority of voters in the United States”. No shit, Sherlock. You know who is the majority of voters in America? Americans. Crazy.

The American population is comprised of immigrants from places like Ireland, Germany, Spain, France, Italy, Uganda, Nigeria, Guatemala, Iraq, Pakistan, Ecuador, Brazil, Chile, Peru, Japan, China, Korea, Russia, India, Egypt, Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Fiji, Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam… So the idea that “The South” still rules this great nation is more absurd now than ever. How far we’ve come, and how far we’ve fallen – both at the same time. With a few searches on Google, the amount of hate-speech spewing from the ex-slave owning, plantation-states, is disgusting, and they’re Republicans.

This notion that the 1964 American values need to be relived is absurd. Remember that Malcolm X guy? How about Martin Luther King Jr.? Rosa Parks, ring a bell? To seek out time-machine values, and roll us back to the “white-male majority” value system of the ACU (American Conservative Union), from the pre-Reagan, Cold War, pre-hippie, USA, is like asking South Africa to reboot apartheid.

What really boils me is the idiots in the crowd claiming that “cheering for a black guy to become president” is reverse racism. Sure, says the over-privileged white man from the top of his throne. Listen, my fellow pale-skinned friend, the color of our skin disqualifies us from making claims about racism. Historically, we’re the racist assholes, all the way down to our Roman, English, German, Spanish ancestors. Best advice: root for humanity, flat out. Don’t pretend that skin-sack you’re in gives you any special powers, outside of the higher pay, and current extended social privileges. The days of pasty skinned privilege are numbered anyway, enjoy them while they last; but more importantly, improve yourself as yourself, and be a better human before all else.

No Better Than

Fox News is no better than the very extremist nations they claim they want to defend the US of A against. They preach a message of segregation, conversion, and close-minded think… and then they have the balls to wonder “what went wrong” with Romney.

The Conservative message is clear; they hate everything that’s not the “voting stock” of the late 1800’s. Period. This isn’t about takers versus makers as much as it’s about controlling wealth and power, and steering it in favor of the people who currently wield it. They wrap their crap in a veil of God-fearing Jesus-mongering as though the Republican Party holds every value the New Testament offers, and that their leaders are more Peter than Judas. Not only should religion be stricken from every facet of the US government system, but the very foundation of the GOP isn’t patriotism. Their system isn’t being a valued citizen of America, its closed-market power-mongering, opportunity-theft, resource hoarding, and the absolutely most anti-American frame of thought anyone within our borders can hide behind.

This White Maker Says, “Fuck You, GOP”

As a maker, hard-working, high-earning, doer – patriot, former DoD contractor, military-family raised, retired Republican, recovering Catholic, Spanish-Belgian white male, from redneck-logger parts of the Pacific Northwest, raised on meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and guns – the GOP champions of today make me want to fucking puke, and I couldn’t be happier that Obama’s in office for another four years, and will gladly keep voting Democrat until the “Conservatives” learn how to be patriots for the USA again.

NDAA, TSA and the Patriot Act

This doesn’t go to say we should give a pass on the US for the NDAA, TSA, and Patriot Act, no one should. I don’t care what party you root for, both parties put these Rights raping programs up our asses, and not ONCE were any of these grotesque violations brought up in the campaigns or (main party) debates. Terrible.

Seriously, what the hell is going on with the GOP? The champions of the American Dream, and the powerhouse of “take no prisoners for those who fuck with us” have slowly morphed into this team of idiots, led by idiots, doing idiot things, pandering to idiot voters, and preying on the American people.

The (R) is now a Symbol of Stupid

Let’s look beyond the whole “legitimate rape” and “incest can’t get you pregnant” stuff for a minute. I mean, at this point, that kind of crap is pretty much expected from the bucket of far-from-flawless morons standing up to lead this rabble of extremists: Herman Cain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, and now Mitt Scrooge McDuck Romney… it’s sad.

Foreign policy has taken a back seat to bitching and prodding over what happens in our citizens’ vaginas. All we do is complain, complain about unemployment, and pretend that “job creation” is going to be talked about and magically spew forth jobs in a country that needs reform to compete with the ever-growing, and completely advanced Internet/Technology space that RUNS THIS COUNTRY. McCain didn’t use computers, and ran for the ticket it 2008! What the hell were you even thinking?

Let’s talk about abortion: get over it. God has no place in American politics, even if God had a place in American politics, it’s not our government’s policy or practice to define what that God would even prefer. Thanks to our “Freedom of Relgion” clause, that could mean that God doesn’t give a damn about abortions in some religions; non-issue. It’s not a sin. It’s not murder. It’s not pre-crime; this isn’t Minority Report, deal with it.

Even worse, you have the whole GOP lining up to take away a woman’s right to abortion, while also lining up to axe government health programs, while looking to increase taxes for the very people those programs would help, perpetuating poverty like no one’s business… Totally makes sense. Good on you for being patriots, and looking out for every American under your wing.

Here’s a pro-tip from Economics 101: Poverty drives the wealthy to become more wealthy. The more poor people you can create, the more wealth you can accumulate.

Here’s a pro-tip from Sociology 101: Controlling the poor is the easiest way to distract them from what you’re doing, so you can keep doing it, if you’re in a position of power built on a foundation of corrupt assholery.

Human Interests and Global Heath
Making decisions with the notion of “what’s best for humans as a human” is not some secret liberal agenda; it’s actually an agenda to treat people as people, with the same libreties priviledged people have. Yes, I’m talking about LGBT; yes, I’m talking about women’s rights; yes, I’m talking about immigration. Labeling people as anything other than “a citizen” is unpatriotic, against the fabric of the foundations of our great nation, and makes you look like an asshole. This goes for both sides of the partison party, but looking at you crazy-asshat-GOP for the bigger violations in this whole stupid mess.

It’s 2012. Two. Thousand. Twelve. That’s 734,380 days (minus leap years, cause I didn’t feel like doing the math) you haven’t evolved from the days of sandles, swords, and men wearing skirts. Sure, there’s been some levels of progress for civil liberties, but why the hell did that stop in the 60′s? Are you bored? Are the current wars for resources not as fun as the Cold War? I mean; where is the size of your dick being challenged so poorly that you need to turn your shallow minded guns on the people of the nation you’re supposed to be supporting?

Speaking of 2012, if the world doesn’t end in December, the crap we’re doing will end it soon enough after. Climate change is real; even without our addiction to altering the chemistry of our atmosphere, we’re all dead anyway. Look at the track record of most other things that exist in space (assuming you believe in space, you freaks). The Moon? It’s not a flawless white surface. You know why? Because “shit happens” in space. That’s why. What else is in space? EARTH! Now, I’m not going to spell it all out for you, but the whole “woops! the North Pole’s ice is gone” is pretty evident that us Earthlings have either magically misplace an ice cube the size of Asia, or the planet’s changing! I don’t care who the hell’s responsible, but let’s figure out ways to be little more friendly to this rock, so we don’t all end up like some completely terrible Roland Emmerich film… I mean, John Cusack… please, save us from John Cusack.

Fire yourselves
Look, the Republican party isn’t all that bad. They used to be forward thinking bad-asses. You’re not that. In fact, there’s a vast, countless number of quotable past Republicans that would probably punch you in the throat for your extremist, religious, shallow, short-sighted, in-humane, greedy, unpatriotic, anti-american, rights-ignoring, “Americanism”…

It’s to the point now where I can barely respect the citizens that are sticking it through hoping the (R)diots stop being dumb asses and start being stellar Americans. That’s like hoping the Browns make a come back at this point, it seems.

The extemist views, the play on American emotions, the fear mongering, the deep rooted hate for fellow Americans, the lack of basic understanding of science, the disregard for the planet, the blatent lies about economics, the back pedaling and side stepping of actual issues, and the avoidance of progress in technology… this isn’t the 1900′s.

Pull your heads out of your asses so I can go back to voting for the people who champion the right to bear arms before we lose that Amendment to the hippies.

“Big deal, they’re trying to help everyone not computer-savvy try to get comfortable with buying a Mac”, sure — by ensuring that all the idiots that haven’t done it yet are encouraged that help is at the ready. You don’t think Apple would assume that everyone that doesn’t purchase from their Apple stores is a dumbass waiting to get had by a shady salesperson on the corner in their crackhouse-looking tech-shop, right? Wrong. Buy from the blue shirt guys, or consider yourself robbed… “Basically.”

The message here: fear everything non-Apple. Don’t support independent business. Be weary of “others” who love and understand technology — because they probably don’t even support iPhoto, God’s gift to graphic image processing. Oh, and expect your computer to come with “everything you’ll ever need already in it”, Apple knows what you need, always and forever. Seriously.

As an added bonus, it is Apple’s mission to ensure that you know so little about everything, that you’ll need their help every second of every day. In fact, chances are that if what you’re using is more complicated than a toaster with 3 settings, you’re probably screwed. It’s okay though, the blue shirts have your back.

I might be sounding off like a complete naysayer and taking the exact stance you’d expect from an “Apple hater”, but this depicts, from Apple, exactly why I absolutely hate Apple. Their mission isn’t just to make computers easier, more digestible, and accessible to everyone. Their message to millions of Americans last night was, “you’re all idiots, we know, we built it that way, but it’s okay, we’re here to just do it for you.” For free, since you paid an outrageous amount of money for this piece of junk machine. Well, maybe. Those warranties are really finicky.

This style of advertising shames geeks. It shames people who understand their computers. It normalizes a complete lack of understanding of technology. You don’t need to know anything! They’ll just do it for you, you moron!

… and people have the gall to ask me why I won’t buy Apple products, and actively loathe them, boisterously, loudly, and vehemently?

So, in light of saving time and enabling creativity, I give you the “Six Fast and Easy Steps For Swapping Out A Face in Photoshop”:

We’re going to be making Sergey Brin, rockin’ the Project Glass things from Google, into Iron Man. Why? Because the source files really fit, and the message of Project Glass really resonates a sort of, “Stark Industries” kind of feel with me… even though they’re not weaponry.

Step 1

Here we have 2 layers in Photoshop. Thanks to a quick Google Image search for “Tony Stark” I was able to find a photo from the film at about the right angle. As an added bonus, their expression was nearly the same. One thing you’ll notice if you do the search is that I had to “Horizontal Flip” the Tony Stark Image.

Clickstream: Select Layer > Ctrl + T (transform tool) > Right Click Canvas > Flip Horizontal

Step 2

The size of Stark versus Sergey is off. Now, the image I pulled of Stark was a lot larger than the one I found of Sergey.

Rule: Reduce, don’t expand. It’s better to start with an image that’s too large than have to work with an image that’s too small.

A trick I learned a while back while matching up layer sizing is to simply make the top layer 80% Opacity

Clickstream: Select the top layer > In the LAYERS pane > “Opacity” (top right) > Change from 100% to ~80%

Step 3

Now, select the bottom layer and using the “Transform Tool” from above, down-size the layer, and match up the eyes from each to be about the same.

Quick Tip: Holding down the SHIFT key while re-sizing something constrains the proportions, so you don’t end up with a distorted Stark under the Sergey.

You should end up with something like this:

See how that lines up? The top layer is probably about 90% Opacity in this. The neck line isn’t too far off, and the eyes are basically spot on. The added bonus here was that Sergey rocked a beard.

Step 4

Since this isn’t “super serious Client-judo” I use something designers call “destructive blending”, it’s a fancy term for “using the eraser”. Getting rid of the excess stuff around the top layer is pretty simple, but you need to get in good to see the blending around the face, especially the neck and forehead.

Clickstream: (E) for Eraser > Right click the canvas > Set the “Hardness” to about 0% > Erase

Shortcut: Using the “[" and "]” keys you can increase and decrease the size of the brush to improve accuracy.

One of the things that makes this easy is matching the hair color, and using the beard lines as the blending / erasing spots. If you’re doing this on a person without a beard or hair, it’ll take a bit more time, but try to match your subject the best possible, it’s easier to merge two bald heads than it is to make someone bald…

Step 5

Now on to “Exposure”

Here’s the most complicated part of the tutorial, and it’s pretty darn easy once you get the hang of it. See how the above image has a dulled-down top layer? That’s not magic, it’s simply an “Exposure Layer”.

Reference the image to the right; see that circle at the bottom there? The half black/white one that looks like a poorly done yin-yang symbol? Click that, and select “Exposure”. Now before going any futher, do this:

1. Select the “Exposure 1″ layer
2. Press (G) to bring up your paint bucket
3. Make your bucket color black, I usually press (D) for this
4. Click the canvas
5. Press (B) to bring up your brush
6. Make your brush color white
7. Paint over the top layer, in this case, Sergey’s face

Ok, you’ve successfully created a “Mask” for the Exposure layer. Now, click the Exposure Layer, and give it a “Exposure: +.10″ and “Offset: -0.018~” and “Gamma Correction: 0.70″

Step 6: Repeat the above process for a “Hue/Saturation” layer, and set “Hue: -166″.

The only thing you need to do now, is set the Opacity of the Hue/Saturation layer to about 30%… since you don’t need Sergey to be papa Smurf.

Done.

Zoom in to your image, and use the eraser tool around the edges, spot check the ears, and such… use the sliders in the Exposure and Hue layers to make minor adjustments as needed, for the most part though, these are the secrets to photo matching manually in Photoshop and swapping out parts. There’s also snazzy tools for color and hue matching built into Photoshop, I have no idea how to use those, but I’m sure there are tutorials on YouTube.

There are a few ways to go about making OpenGraph tags work within WordPress that I know of, I’ll link one of the better plugins I found below, but first – here’s a quick one-two about getting it done yourself, without a plugin, because in actuality, the process for this is pretty simple, and I’ve found it to be more efficient to just do it.

These instructions will work for any web-platform if you know  a little about HTML, but will lean primarily on WordPress.

First, you’ll need a Facebook App ID; these are free, pretty simple to set up, and you need to go here: https://developers.facebook.com/apps to get it.

• Log in to Facebook
• Click “Create New App”
• Give your app a name, skip the other two fields, and click “Continue”
• In order to get Facebook Like button counts to actually work; fill out the “App Domain” with your site’s domain name
• Choose a Category
• Click “Website” in the second section, include the url (without the “http://” this time)
• Click “Save Changes” and you’re all set
• Keep this window open, you’ll want to copy your “App ID” (top of the FB Developer page)

If you’ve gotten this far, this is the simple part, copy/paste this into the page above the closing </header> tag (near the top of the header.php file):

<meta property=”fb:app_id” content=”Paste the Facebook App ID here” />
<meta property=”fb:admins” content=”This is your Facebook User ID (not your username)” />

<?php if (is_single()) { ?>
<meta property=”og:url” content=”<?php the_permalink() ?>”/>
<meta property=”og:title” content=”<?php single_post_title(”); ?>” />
<meta property=”og:description” content=”<?php echo strip_tags(get_the_excerpt($post->ID)); ?>” />
<meta property=”og:type” content=”article” />
<meta property=”og:image” content=”<?php if (function_exists(‘wp_get_attachment_thumb_url’)) {echo wp_get_attachment_thumb_url(get_post_thumbnail_id($post->ID)); }?>” />
<!– if page is others –>
<?php } else { ?>
<meta property=”og:site_name” content=”<?php bloginfo(‘name’); ?>” />
<meta property=”og:description” content=”<?php bloginfo(‘description’); ?>” />
<meta property=”og:type” content=”blog” />
<meta property=”og:image” content=“<?php bloginfo(‘template_url’); ?>/images/logo.jpg” />
<?php } ?>

Change the above bold parts accordingly. The “logo.jpg” in the second set of “og” tags is a general image, and you should change this to the path/filename to your logo, avatar, or so forth.

That’s about it. Save and close. If you look above, what I’ve done is set the blog posts up to be different OpenGraph tag details from general pages (and the home page). The posts use the “Featured Image” as the default image for the post; if there are more than one images in the post, it will start with the one specified, and still allow uses to scroll through to use the others.

Other Tips:

• Alter the og:site_name to display something different other than the post title (appending ” – sitename.com” for example)
• Make it use any image by changing the og:image content to the path of an image
• Alter the description to include something extra (like posted date, or author name)
• You can check your work over at: http://developers.facebook.com/tools/debug (copy/paste your post URL and click “Debug”)

WordPress plugin instead:

http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/opengraph/